Happy Father's Day from Mommage

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again.

~ Enid Bagnold

Growing up, Father's Day was rather hard on me.  My father and I did not get along so well.  I thought he was too tough on me and in return I was too tough on him.  He wanted me to be responsible and trustworthy.  I just wanted to be daddy's little girl; the girl with the daddy that fixed all her problems.

As the years went by and I started to grow into the woman I am today, I realized that he was teaching me valuable lessons in life.  He was teaching me that I can't quit something just because it is 90 degrees and I have to run a mile every morning so I can make the team.  He taught me that a reputation can change the way people see you.  He taught me that no matter how dysfunctional they may seem, family is the most important thing a person can have.

I have a family of my own now.  I have a father in law that my dad has to share me with as well as my husband; the second greatest dad in the world (biased... I know).  I have learned all the lessons my dad set forth to teach me the day he married my mom.  Finally, I get to be that daddy's girl that I always wanted to be and I can honestly say that it means more to me now than it would have ever meant to me then.

So, on this day I would like to say thank you not only to my daddy but to all the daddies out there doing everything they can to raise their children.  You are doing a great job and though we may not say it often enough, us moms appreciate you.

--Contributed by Nichole

Comments

[Pete Blackshaw]

This is a great, touching post.

[LadyMac]

My clearest memory of my father is also my last memory of him.

I was a mess when I was 21. I had dropped out of college, was partying way to hard with all the wrong boys, and just really didn't care about myself or anyone else for that matter. If it felt good, hey, that's what was important.

I awoke early on Thursday morning in a strange hotel room in Georgia next to a man I had picked up the night before, with the thought running threw my mind that I *must* call my father. I don't know why. Daddy and I weren't talking much in those days. We were so alike that things degraded into an argument fairly quicky.

So I called him and we talked for about 45 minutes. For the first time probably in at least 9 months, maybe a year, we didn't fight. He didn't yell. I didn't yell. He didn't call me a screw up. I didn't tell him he didn't understand me. I left that conversation thinking that Daddy and I had turned a corner in our relatioship and that it would be better from here on out.

He was dead three days later.

He died of a massive stroke. I never spoke to him again. But the last words he heard from my lips were "I love you, Daddy." His last words about me were to my mother - he said ~ "Deb called me today and we had a great conversation. Everything is going to be fine."

I miss him more than words can say.

I named my son after him.

I love you, Daddy.

Happy Fathers Day.

[Venice]

Unfortunately, my Dad was not too involved in my childhood because he was always busy working at least two or three jobs while also rebuilding our house. Don't get me wrong, I never felt neglected and certainly not unloved, he just didn't deal with me on a daily basis or to the same extent my Mom did, and understandably so.

It wasn't until my Mom died when I was 36 years old that I developed a true relationship with my father. He moved closer to where I live, and we became best friends. We went on road trips together, had meaningful conversations, and I found out things about his life that I never knew before. I learned more from him during the ten years after my Mom died than I ever had before. For the first time, I saw him as a person and not just a parent. I wouldn't trade that time I spent with him for a lifetime of relationships.

As much as I miss my Mom, I think I miss my Dad even more.