Mommage

Being a Mother

Giving birth doesn't necessarily mean you're a mother.  There's so much more involved.  Some of the best mothers have never seen the inside of a delivery room and have no idea what labor feels like.  It's not hard to recognize a good mother when you see one.  You can tell by the way she handles a child, speaks to a child, relates to a child and protects a child.  Being a mother is a state of mind.

 

Britney Spears is the mother of two children.  She has gone through all the motions to create and bring two new people into this world, only to have them taken away.  Her circumstances might be extraordinary and sometimes even beyond her control, but a real mother would find a way to rise above the adversity in order to give her children what they deserve.  In the last few days, I've heard more opinions about Britney's life and downfall than I care to know.  There are women on welfare, single women, underprivileged women, and even abused women who manage to be good mothers to their children, and I think the reason is simple.

More To Parenting Than Biology

Mommage welcomes guest contributor Christine, who has a different perspective on parenting.  She was adopted by two homosexual men as a young child and couldn't be  a happier (or more well-adjusted) young lady. That little sound you hear in the distance is the pitter-patter of little feet that will be joining Christine's household in a matter of weeks.  Mommage thanks her for her contribution and wishes her and her dads all the best.

A same-sex couple in Australia announced that they’d be suing their doctor because one woman’s IVF treatments resulted in her giving birth to fraternal twin girls instead of only one child. They considered giving one up for adoption but decided against it as “The burden is not the children's to bear. The burden is ours alone”.

My heart goes out to both of these girls, to be called a burden after their birth was so carefully planned.

Mom OTR, Chapter 3 - BABY DAY

Today is the big day!

In less than an hour, we'll be piling into our cars to drive over 150 miles to go pick up my new niece.  We have never seen her before - not even a picture - so it's even that much more exciting.

The emotion in the air is palpable.  Despite being an excited auntie, I am more detached from this experience than my brother, sister-in-law and nephew.  It's not my baby; she's not coming to live at my house.  So it is with great love and pride I watch the developments in this house.

My nephew is sing-songing her name under his breath between bites of PopTart for breakfast.  Last night we toasted his new little sister with strawberry cupcakes that had swirly pink icing.  My brother shaved his dome again last night to look his best.  My sister-in-law is curling her hair, rather than just putting it up in its usual ponytail.  All to meet the luckiest little girl in the state who is all of 5 days old today.

I have truthfully never seen my brother behave like he has in the previous few days.  He fawns over tiny little pink onesies and positively coos over tiny little pink socks.  By his own admissions, his new daughter already has him wrapped around her littlest finger.

I can't wait.

--Contributed by Deb

Mom OTR, Chapter 2

Story from the road:

I was riding in the family minivan today going to go swimming at the YMCA.  All of a sudden my 4-year-old nephew pipes up during a conversaton about cooking:

What I heard:

Nephew:  You have to be careful with baking sweet potatoes.

My reply:  You are EXACTLY right!  When you put them in the microwave, they get very hot inside and they could explode if you don't stick them with a fork first.

DEB!!!!!!  was the explosion from my sister-in-law.  She was simulatenously appalled and scandalized.

What?  I was perplexed.  Until I she translated what my nephew REALLY said. 

Nephew:  You have to be careful with babies and sweet potatoes. 

Whoops.  Bad auntie.

--Contributed by Deb

Gifts from Heaven

We got the call two days ago - my brother and sister-in-law have been chosen to adopt a new baby by the birth mother!   Apparently the birth mom is being induced next week and they will be going to pick him/her up (we still don't know what flavor they're getting).  We're going down to visit next them next week and they would be getting the baby right after we leave to come home.  Great timing, huh? 

I am thrilled at being an auntie for a second time.  I know I am biased but the birth momma could not have picked a better family to entrust her son/daughter to.  I wish I was HALF the mom my sister-in-law is!

My darling brother just called ~ and asked us if we could stay a few extra days to drive over with them to pick up the new baby. 

I am so happy to be able to share this moment with them; I could cry. 

--Contributed by Deb