Mommage

On Going To Visit His Uncle Sam

It's official.  Kiddo has been accepted into Massanutten Military Academy for this Summer session.  He doesn't even know "he" applied, despite the fact that he signed the application.  Apparently he hasn't learned a darn thing from me, because otherwise he would have NEVER signed a piece of paper without reading it.

Last week culminated in a knock-down, drag-out brawl over homework.  I said, do it... he said, make me.  And I did - amazingly without having to resort to physical discipline.  Barely.  But it's isn't going to be long before he's bigger than me and phyiscal duress simply won't be an option.

One of the things he said about his homework just chilled me to the bone.  I guess it's time I tell you about my son's father ~ my ex-husband. 

Parent Job Description

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!

POSITION : Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION : Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES : The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION : None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE : None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION : Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS : While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

** AND A FOOTNOTE... THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! ** If you are fortunate enough, you will become grandparents!

--Conributed by Renee

The Mommage "Mother Of The Year" Award

On April 17, 2007, Jonathan Menjivar died while serving our country in Iraq.  He left behind a six year old daughter.

Earlier this month, his daughter entered a contest to win an all expenses paid trip to Albany, New York to see Hannah Montana perform in concert.  Anyone who follows PlanetFeedback knows that Hannah Montana tickets are hotly contested and have been the source of many parents ire because of the scarcity of those tickets.

Here is the announcement of the contest as hosted by Club Libby Lu, one of those places that caters to little girls:

We want to hear how you're going to ROCK someone else's holiday. Maybe it's Mom, your best friend, or maybe it's someone you don't even know! It's easy: just write (no more than 5 sentences) and send it to us. Maybe you are donating a coat (sorry sis) or maybe you are making breakfast in bed for your Mom (maybe next year Dad!); whatever it is tell us all about it."

And here is the little girl's entry:

"My daddy died this year in Iraq. I am going to give my mommy the Angel pendant that daddy put on mommy when she was having me. I had in in my jewelry box since that day. I love my mommy."

Of course it won, beating out 1000 other entries.  After all, it's a heart wrenching story from someone who lost her father at a very young age; something none of us should face, much less a six year little girl.

It's also a complete fabrication.

 

Baby Einstein And Brainy Baby, Do They Help Or Hinder?

So you think you are doing a good thing.  You purchase Baby Einstein or Brainy Baby or similar DVD's to play for your children in the hope it will give them a jump start with their vocabulary and other skills.  Now the experts tell us that instead of helping them these DVDs may in fact be hindering their development.  I came across this article earlier this week when I was at Child Find with my son.  We were there to meet with a speech therapist, to try and determine the reason for my sons speech delay (luckily it just appears to be a small speech delay and his motor and cognitive skills are fine). 

I read this article in total disbelief.  I have done this, happily plunking down the rather high price for these videos hoping to help my son.  Now I read that this may actually have slowed him down somewhat.  I am still struggling with how to feel.  How much weight to give this study.  Wondering how when you truly have the best intentions, you can be doing it all wrong.  I wonder if this is like other studies, you know the ones I am talking about.  This year it is bad, next year it will be the best thing you can do for your child.  Ugh!  What is a parent to do?

--Contributed by Renee

MRSA--Methicillin-Resistant Staph Aureus

As some of you may know, my son was hospitalized in early September for four days.  He had Methicillin-Resistant Staph Aureus also known as MRSA.  This particular strain of staph infection used to only be found in hospitals and nursing homes, now it is being found in the community at an alarming rate.  Here in Virginia a 17 year old male athlete died from MRSA on October 15, and since then many, many cases have been reported all over the state. 

This hits particularly close to home for me because of the fact that my son was hospitalized with this.  Luckily my son is okay, but had to be hospitalized to receive intravenous antibiotics.  My son had a bump just under his nose, it looked sort of like a pimple.  I was not that alarmed until I came home from work the next night to find his lip red and swollen.  We took him to Urgent Care where they placed him on Rocephin by IV and told us to bring him back the next day for another dose.  The next day when I took him, the same doctor that he saw the first day, said that he needed to be admitted because the antibiotic given to him the day before was not working and in fact the infection was spreading.

Being "Mom-blocked"?

When I first read this article, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

As a woman, I have heard the jibes and remarks about the delicate and fragile male ego ~ about how they need to be coddled and handled gently less they shatter.  Heck, I've made those comments myself from time to time.  But according to this article, when it comes to classic parenting issues and the mom/dad relationship, women are not immune from this either.  Break out the kids gloves for them too!

The heart of this article is that women are feeling left behind and left out when their husbands step up as the primary caregiver to their small children.  Awwww....poor things .

Sometimes I guess you just can't win.  How many women have I personally heard complain that they would LOVE to have their husbands be more involved parents?  How many women do I know who have said they would LOVE for their husbands to stay at home with their kids?  How many women are single parents (like me) who would LOVE to have a partner in their life to share the child-rearing load?

Yet when they get what they profess to want, they complain of being marginalized and apparently in some cases require therapy.  Therapy?  Dad stays home and actually washes dishes, goes grocery shopping, attends play dates, suffers through endless viewings of "The Wiggles" and these women have so little self-esteem that they MUST be their child's no.1 caregiver in addition to the primary bread-winner or they don't feel good about themselves?  Talk about wanting to have your cake and eat it too.

Is it any wonder why men say they can't catch a break?  I am starting to understand why they feel that way now. 

Sheesh.

--Contributed by Deb