Please and Thank You

PlanetFeedback has received a number of letters from people writing to companies about employee rudeness.  With the decentralized nature of business, it's not surprising that not every employee is skilled in the art of politeness.  Plus, people have bad days.  Would you remember to keep your manners if, say, your spouse just asked for you a divorce?  If the neighbor is suing you because your pit bull swallowed their chihuahua?  If your teenage daughter is brooding because (roll eyes) you ruined her favorite shirt by not seeing that red sock in the washing machine?

A certain breed of letter is becoming common: the "the employee wasn't really rude, but they also weren't friendly" letter.  These letters complain about how an employee didn't smile, didn't say "thank you," and neglected "have a nice day."

It's true: we're losing the pleasantries and courtesies of polite society.  Long gone are calling cards, white gloves, and hand-written party invites.

The problem, however, with letters of this sort is that they rarely show politeness, themselves.  How can one complain, with a straight face, about an employee that fails to say "thank you," when the letter, itself, does not contain a single "please" and ends with an exclamation mark-laden demand?

Our advice: if pleasantries are important to you, make sure to offer them first.  As you approach a cashier, for example, smile.  Say "please" and "thank you."  As you leave, wish the cashier "have a nice day" and compliment her ("I appreciate you taking the time to help me").  Although some people are just too cranky to respond in kind, most will appreciate your kindness and will return the favor.  Those that do not, are people who are either having a bad day (bad lifetime?) or simply lack good social skills.  Let it go, as enforced niceness, passed down via corporate memo, is fake and it's not worth your time to receive a plastic McSmile.  Now is it?

Comments

[LadyMac]

Thank goodness for at least one voice of reason out there. This should be required reading for any one before they write a complaint. Question No. 1 - did I do anything to make the situation worse? If the answer is yes, shut up and sit down.

Bravo, Jeffrey.